I wrote yesterday some thoughts regarding my ideas about friendship and after I finished I thought about other ideas I should have included, so this is another dialogue concerning friendship and what makes it so fragile and so meaningful. We have just concluded an election that was perhaps the ugliest and most mean spirited election in the history of the United States. Besides the fact that the Republican candidate constantly lied and said many mean spirited things again and again, the conservative media gave him a forum to spread those lies and insults. Talk radio and conservative television made it possible for his message to spread throughout the globe at all times of the day and night. Even mainstream media covered every message he wrote and said and made sure that we all know more than we wanted to know. I have not watched the evening news for the past four years because I could not stomach hearing his voice or the lies he was telling once again.
I did not think that an election would cause true friends to part company but recently a dear friend whom I have know for almost two decades sent me a cryptic text message in which he used profanity and accused me of pushing a liberal agenda that he could not agree with. His text message was so shocking and out of character for him that I thought his phone had been hacked. So, I called him to see what he would say. He refused to talk to me and hung up on me but did say the text was from him. I called his wife to ask her what was going on and she said that he had become so possessed by the election and by conservative television that he watched it constantly when he did not have work to do and that he was getting very irate by what they told him on that telecast. She was very embarrassed by his texting me in that way and apologized profusely.
I did not try to call this friend again but we exchanged text messages and he made it clear that he blamed me for pushing a liberal agenda and for trying to bring this country to a socialist state. After several texts were traded it became clear that I was not making headway with him so I stopped and he did too. Now, we are at a stalemate and not communicating.
Politics….why has it become divisive to the point that friends and family members would rather forsake one another than to allow people to “live and let live” in their ways of thinking. We can certainly blame this man who stirred up the sentiments of many with his racist and radical thinking but we can also be assured that these negative sentiments lived inside those we know who have adopted his way of thinking long before he came on the scene. It is very sad to think but we all have friends who most likely have racist tendencies but just have never been bold in putting them out in the open where all can see it.
I have another friend whom I went to school with and we have known each other for sixty plus years. We played together as children and did school projects together. We went to each other’s homes and ran and frolicked and got sweaty and had snacks. We graduated from high school and pursued our goals as adults and after we both married and had children, we stayed in the home of our friends as they did ours and enjoyed their company. Somewhere in the past decade however, he changed. He became involved with the conservative faction of the Republican party and became very anti-immigrant. He could not hold a conversation without detailing how vile immigrants were and how we needed to stop the flow of immigrants in order to save our country. His agenda became such a divisive tool that we could no longer have any socialization with him or his family. I still love him as my friend but he is no longer the friend I once had. He is a different man.
Politics was once just a designation of candidates that one would support in an election. Now it is a mantra that must be repeated if one is going to align oneself with a certain political party. It has become the litmus test that decides if we can be social with one another or have a relationship with one another. It has become a god to some who avow allegiance to party over country or even religion. It has become the shade of an evil stigma and stain on society.
Do friends have to think alike about politics or religion or other areas of life? Can they be good friends and not agree on such issues? I think so. I have other friends with whom I disagree concerning the ways we think about social issues and we continue to be good friends. Making it a requirement that people think alike in order to have a friendship limits our interaction in the world with many with whom we could enjoy richer and more satisfying lives.
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